I Continue to Flow

I wrote this just after coming out of a morning mindfulness session. For me, that has meant many things over time. What it means now is a time to ground myself in my breath, notice the thoughts of my mind, feel my feelings, and thank God for another opportunity to contribute as a good soul in action on the earth.

Now, what do I mean by "good soul in action"? Morally speaking? In terms of quality? These days, when I mention being good, I’m referencing my emotional state—how I am personally experiencing life. Good is a word I use to stand in for saying, “I am in an emotionally okay place right now.” I say that because my mother has been battling life-threatening health challenges heavily for the past year. This reality has been a persistent one for me to live in. If you remember, I spoke briefly about my mother’s struggles when I created the Rooted in Love exhibition (https://ashevillemade.com/an-all-consuming-love/).

But despite this persistent reality, on any given day, you can ask me how I am doing, and I may say “good.” How? What would I mean? Who can say that despite the struggles of a parent’s health? Despite being kicked out of a home and forced to relocate? Despite having your personal history erased without even getting the chance to properly process what happened in those spaces, with those people? Yet, despite all these things, on any given day, I may still say “good.”

That does not mean my external world is perfect or that everything is going as I want. It means that, at that moment in time, emotionally, I am in a state that is desirable and welcomed. Emotionally, I am experiencing calmness. My thoughts are focused on what is before me, and I regain my sense of presence in an instant by noticing how my breath enters and leaves my body. This practice keeps me in a state that is open yet aware—not on guard, not paranoid, not mentally imagining things that are not before me and becoming caught up in them. Instead, I have a grounding technique to return me to an emotionally calm state.

Doing these intentional acts for myself—such as grounding myself in the present through my breath—helps me get a clearer sense of where I am as a being. It helps me feel closer spiritually to the original peace of God. I can assess whether I am truly trusting God or allowing my tangled emotions to lead me to believe I am.

Be Still and Know That I am God by James R. Love

(Top: front of piece; bottom: back of piece)

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“Be still and know that I am God” is both a verse and an art piece I made in 2019 that I’ve been reflecting on passively. I’ve reflected on how much I need to not only hear those words but also live them out. Be still: calm yourself, end your worry, settle your emotions. Be still and know that [God] is God. Rest assured, this doesn’t mean things will be easy all the time, but it does mean you have a distinct and personal figure—powerful, intentional, all-knowing, all-seeing, present in the silence of experience, and inspiring to those who seek an intimate relationship.

I want to say more about what an experience with God has been like for me, especially in my psychological and emotional journey. Perhaps, at some point, I will sit down to write about that.

I also find it interesting that, even then, I was concerned with my "interior life" and having that transformed.